Last Fall I discovered that a longtime business in my former home town was closing. A Hallmark affiliate, it had been a mainstay in the community for decades. I made a stop the week before it shut down for good. It is always sad to see a store in the throws of going out of business. The card racks mostly empty. Display cases for sale. Jewelry, wrapping paper, stationary…gone. I remember buying holiday cards here. Birthday cards. Photo albums.
The brick building housing this Hallmark store and a number of others lining the main street dates back to the mid 1900s (or earlier).
I noticed the back of the store was roped off – for the most part – but my curiosity won out and I carefully stepped over scraps of carpet, sheetrock and shelving to investigate.
Part of a side wall had been cut away…revealing an abandoned door to what once was.
At 5 months old, my daughter often found it difficult to wind down. Close her eyes and take a rest. A nap even. So many exciting happenings in her baby world. Lights. Smiles. Laughs. Talking. Music. Hugs. Books. Sunshine. Mama’s Milk. Bananas. Cereal. Baby walker exploring. Johnny Jump-Up calisthenics.
This lyric popped into my head the moment I saw V.J.’s challenge topic this week. And there it remained. No matter what I did.
The first line from a song almost 50 years old.
A song I discovered as a teenager.
But should I use it for this challenge? Surely there are other more relevant options…
I could write about the behind-my-back whispering I endured as an awkward too-tall glasses-wearing 12 year old trying to fit in with the cool kids. While pretending everything was fine. And holding back the tears.
Or, at home, how whispering meant something was off…not as it should be. Somehow…tilted. One more secret to swallow. Remember. Always on alert. My stomach in knots.
Don’t tell your sister. Don’t tell your grandparents. Don’t tell your father.
Just plain don’t tell. What will people say?
Or else.
There are no witnesses to a whisper.
So…whisper…not a comfortable topic to revisit. As it led to secrets and shaming and being left out. No need to relive that.
There it was again…whispering wind…
Here’s the thing…I’ve finally learned to honor the flashing signs that appear in my head.
So here goes…
The song in question was written by Carole King and is included on her 1971 album “Music” – the album that followed my all time favorite “Tapestry.”
Song of Long Ago
Words and Music by Carole King
Whispering wind came uninvited Looking for somewhere else to go Here is a lamp I’ve left unlighted Aren’t you someone I should know?
Memory’s flame is soon ignited Lighting my lamp with amber glow Quietly friends are reunited Singing a song of long ago, la la la
Cry, cry for someone Who just can’t be happy And be glad you can feel enough to cry
Younger than always, time descended Bringing me brand new seeds to sow Now that they’ve been a long time planted What must I do to help them grow?
If it had been as I intended I wouldn’t have the peace I know Loving the people I’ve befriended And singing the song of long ago, la la la
As it began, so I will end it Singing a song of long ago Loving the people I’ve befriended And singing the song of long, long, long ago.
I hadn’t listened carefully to Song of Long Ago in many years…until now.
What a difference – in perspective – a lifetime can make…in the listening.
Whispering wind…as relevant as ever.
By the way…Happy Birthday to Carole King.
She will be 78 years old this Sunday, February 9th.
Inspired by Lens-Artists Photo Challenge #82: Capitals
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I have visited Washington DC, the capital of the United States, many times.
My first trip to DC was with my Cadette Girl Scout troop when I was 13. A very long time ago…but I do remember a few highlights of that long weekend: staying in an old brick hotel, getting in trouble for using the room phone to call boys across the alley at a different hotel and visiting a science museum where an “elephantiasis leg” was on display in a tall glass case. Yup, some poor departed soul’s diseased leg floating in murky fluid proved both fascinating and mesmerizing to my young scientist mind. I have no photos of that trip. Which is probably just as well.
However, as luck would have it, my adult children now live in DC. As well as my grandson. Excellent reasons to visit!
In 2012, we made the rounds of a few tourist destinations.
The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pond.
September 2012
A visit to the National Portrait Gallery.
The year before – in June, 2011 – we spent Father’s Day weekend with our son – including taking in a baseball game at Washington Nationals Park.
Imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered this between innings. A Gluten Free food booth!
And last – but not least – we returned to further explore the Smithsonian National Museum of American History…which always includes a pilgrimage to the display case featuring Elizabeth Cotten’s Guitar.
My guitar player husband insists on it and a respectful moment of silence ensues.
Bits and pieces of conversation drifted past me as I waited in line today to see one of the Democratic candidates speak. The New Hampshire Presidential Primary is next week and it’s crazy around here. As it has been every 4 years for the 40+ years I’ve lived in NH.
I’m not nearly as legit as being an actual native. If you are not born in NH you are still from away. However…I digress…
As a long time registered voter, I am well prepared for the onslaught of eager candidates who start trying to win my vote as early as a year ahead of time. It is exciting…for a while. And then it isn’t…as the Vote For Me postcards and flyers pile up. As the television ads become more than tiresome. Persistent phone calls at dinner time. Blah Blah Blah.
Today was my fourth (and last) attendance at a political rally. To see a candidate I had hoped would come back to my area. It was held in a church in the middle of the afternoon and attendees sitting in the pews were “older” for the most part. I didn’t see as many from the under 30 crowd as I have at weekend town halls and rallies.
Looking around, I was struck by the air of anticipation. Hopeful expressions. Women and men sitting patiently. Sliding over in pews to let more people have a place to sit. Attentive. Waiting for the candidate to appear, as innocuous rock music played from a nearby speaker. Small American flags on wooden sticks were passed out. Cell phone cameras poised. Polite clapping for the local dignitaries who “warm up the crowd” before the candidate is introduced.
A half dozen media outlets had video cameras set up on large tripods in the back of the room. Photographers snapped pictures with impressive professional cameras (which I tried to get a look at!). They were everywhere. There is no privacy at these events. But I know to expect that.
The candidate appeared – almost 30 minutes late, but nobody seemed to mind – full of smiles and ideas and plans. This candidate was authentic. Smart. Relaxed. Eager to share family stories and work experience. I get you was the message. This is what I will do.
The crowd’s attention was laser focused as we listened to the candidate’s message of realistic possibilities, common sense and empathy. Definitely a different vibe than what I had experienced before. And I liked it.
Finally, I have found a candidate I can be enthusiastic about.
Last week it was “warm” enough for a relatively comfortable walk through the woods in back of my condo building. A sunny mid-afternoon in winter is an opportune time to catch the light – despite freezing temperatures. I lasted almost an hour before my fingers were too cold to operate the camera.
I never know what I will discover.
Much to my surprise (mostly because I am no plant expert and don’t expect anything colorful to survive winter), I noticed clumps of red dangling among the eternal browns and dull greens around me.
I am guessing these welcome splashes of color are winterberries…
I see you here more often than most of the wait staff!
I looked up.
It was one of the waitresses.
I recognized her – 50-ish, tall, dressed in the black non-uniform worn by all the staff…a front apron pocket stuffed with pens and order pads. She tended to march from table to table. Very business like. An air of efficiency. The woman who called everyone Honey.
She had spotted me sitting at the table I usually request – at the rear of the restaurant – in a quieter section where chairs are straight backed and kind to my osteoporotic spine. I was alone, waiting for a friend to join me for lunch. Studying the menu…which was unnecessary really, as I practically had it memorized.
I wasn’t sure what her comment was meant to convey. Was it a positive? A negative? Her expression…non-committal…perhaps even a bit stern…as if this was an announcement of some significance. And I was missing the point.
I do tend to overthink…while at the same time always curious as to why people say what they say. So I plunged ahead…
You have a great – and varied – gluten free menu. It is hard to find a restaurant that takes it seriously for those of us with celiac disease. I really appreciate the care you take here.
She nodded. Agreed with me. And off she went…or rather…marched.
I am also a member of their Loyalty Program – points and a free lunch after 10 visits. Ten salads with chicken and hold the onions and dressing on the side. And please remember the warm gluten free roll. They usually do.
Apparently I am a regular, although for reasons I am still trying to understand…I am not entirely comfortable with it.
I’d much rather be the observer than the observed.
This post inspired by Fandango’s Friday Flashback – January 31
Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember?..Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year?
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This post is from January 31, 2019 in response to V.J.’s Weekly Challenge.
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Upside-Down
This post inspired by V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #33: Upside-Down
upside down: • in or into total
disorder or confusion
right side up…
everything
in its place.
comforting clarity…
safety wrapped around
believing.
blind trust.
knowing what’s to come
until sucker punched…
tilting.
lights dimming
without a map…
spinning…
belonging nowhere.
losing balance…
tumbling alone.
crashing
into
a
blank slate…
the new reality.
one letter UP ~ diary 2.0 