Author: oneletterup

Quote of the Day…

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And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged and anonymous. No one notices you. You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. You can move about, unnoticed and invisible.

Doris Lessing

But is this really a good thing? A positive thing? Not being seen or heard anymore? Content to be…hidden? What about our years of wisdom and experience…

I wonder.

I remember a fifth grade class assignment where we had to choose a superpower we’d wish for. And why. My choice: “being invisible.” I envisioned all kinds of adventure…and power. I could go anywhere. Be anything. Find out what was going on (because, after all, there must be something more interesting going on somewhere!).

But now? Decades later? Invisible is tantamount to just not being here…or anywhere…at all. Not really. After a certain age, you tend to disappear in the eyes of the younger set. Salespeople look through you, or just over your head. Questions are dodged or ignored all together. Their attention lost while you search for reading glasses.
Not everywhere and not all the time. But often enough to piss me off. And make me speak up a little louder. Whether I have the energy or not.

Mary Chapin Carpenter has a different take on the Middle Ages.

…We used to dread lives rendered ordinary
we always said we’d own a grander story
but the only kind worth telling somehow
is the one about a jolt that makes you listen
that jagged lightning bolt of recognition
that love and kindness are all that matter now…
Mary Chapin Carpenter

 

If I could choose a superpower now, it would probably be flying. It would solve so many problems. And what fun!

What would be your superpower choice? And…do you think being “middle-aged” invites anonymity? And, if so, is this a positive? I am still considering the possibilities.

 

Tuesday Photo Challenge – Surprise

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Here is my entry for this week’s challenge hosted by Dutch goes the Photo

The theme this week is “Surprise”

Life is never the same for an only child when she becomes a big sister. Especially after almost 6 years of a – for the most part – predictable existence.

But then along comes a little brother to mix things up.

One hot July day, my daughter squeezed her 8 year old self into our small plastic pool – to cool off with her 2 ½ year old brother. His idea of play was…the element of surprise. He only got away with this the first time – pictured below. After that it was a free-for-all!

To her eternal credit, she was a good sport about this and the rest of his shenanigans over the years…

 

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Surprise!

River

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This post is inspired by:

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #20: River

I wish I had a river to skate away on….

Joni Mitchell

 

Back in 1971, when Joni Mitchell’s album Blue was released, I spent the summer working at a conference center 6 hours away from home. I worked mostly alongside other 17 and 18 year olds from around the country. It was a desperation move on my part to go so far away. For my own sanity. Constantly wishing for a “river to skate away on,” I finally got it that summer.

Although I didn’t fully realize it at the time, that summer was life changing. I shared a small room in the staff house with 3 other girls…I’m still close friends with one. I worked in the office. They were waitress/housekeepers. Rustic cabins. Barn dances. Dining hall. A beautiful lake. Staff parties. Work and play all in one.

The album Blue (which contains River) – as well as Carole King’s Tapestry – formed the backdrop of those weeks away. By summer’s end, I knew every single word of every single song. Even now I still do. Like a time machine.

There was always something about the lyrics from River that reached deep in my gut. I’d sing along in my shaky, slightly off key adolescent  voice…feeling every bit of the not-yet-understood longing and cloudy sadness that was to plague me for years. But in those moments I was comforted. I did not feel alone. Someone else understood. And voiced what I could not.

That’s what fine lyrics will do. For teenagers finding their way. Fighting to stay afloat. In a family like mine.

…I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
Oh I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly…

Flower of the Day

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My contribution to…Cee’s Photography FOTD.

Our former home had a garden window and I enjoyed catching the light as it filtered through whatever flowers were displayed there.

This rose was part of a multi-colored  bouquet I received from my son many birthdays ago.

He remembers yellow roses are my favorite.

 

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Birthday Roses

A Photo a Week Challenge: Through Glass

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Nancy Merrill Photography is hosting a photo challenge:

The theme this week is: Through Glass

IN A NEW POST CREATED FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PHOTO OR TWO (OR THREE OR…) OF ITEMS VIEWED THROUGH GLASS OF ANY KIND.

Apple Crisp is a favorite in my home any time of year, but especially in the fall when local apples are for sale in the supermarket.

A simple recipe with Macintosh apples topped with a mixture of oats, gluten free flour, butter, brown sugar, apple pie spice, cinnamon & lemon juice. It IS all about the topping, so we go heavy on that.

This afternoon’s result…in a glass baking dish…

Ready to bake!

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Happy Birthday Oma

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“Honey, I don’t care what anyone tells you – the golden years are shit for the birds!”

(My) Oma
circa 1992

Oma always told it like it was. To anyone who would listen.
One of the many things I loved about her. She got right to the point. No mind games.

And at the age of 86, that was her take on life, confined to a wheelchair in an assisted living facility near me. Her shoulders disintegrated. Knee replacements failing. Almost blind. Skin thin as tissue paper. Widowed. She was pissed. Understandably.

 

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Oma was my maternal grandmother.
Born and raised in Ohio.
Oldest of 2.
Self-proclaimed flapper.
Married at 22.
Mother of one.
Grandmother of 5.
Greatgrandmother of 6.
Lover of all things strawberry.
And Stouffer’s creamed chipped beef.
And “The Price is Right” & “Days of Our Lives”
And Andy Rooney’s segment on “60 Minutes.”
And…as I discovered…she loved yellow roses…just like I did.

When Oma was having a good day, she also liked to talk politics, gossip and reminisce about her childhood…

I played jacks and I loved to roller skate. Those were the only things I could do! Back in those days, the girls wore big bows in their hair. Boys and girls were in separate classrooms. Why, I remember visiting my cousins on their farm in Indiana. It was so much fun. It was a beautiful farm, too.

She would slip into the past and take me with her. I saw chickens and cows and the juicy pies set to cool on the kitchen windowsill. She spoke of her fireman father who developed crippling rheumatoid arthritis but doted on his little girl.  He spoiled me, she said with a grin.

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Oma only completed the 10th grade, quitting to work full time and bring in money for her family. She loved her job as a secretary at a music/piano store in Cincinnati.  Customers came in to listen to the newest records in private listening rooms.  She was thrilled to be a part of that.

But I remember her long before the “golden years” overtook her.
Her quick wit, her caring and love of family.
Her spirit.

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I spent weekends with Oma & Opa several times a year. My childhood getaways. Just me and them.

When Opa was at work, Oma and I went shopping – back before the days of big box stores and Walmart.  We’d walk up and down the town’s main street. Every shopkeeper greeted her by name, the bells on the door signaling our arrival. We got fresh sliced ham for sandwiches and a thick steak at the butcher shop. Black & white cookies and warm rolls from the bakery. Opa’s shirts at the dry cleaners.

One day, on our drive home from shopping, we were waiting at a stop light next to a carload of teenage boys. The driver gunned his engine and laughed at us: the “old” woman and the kid. Well…when the light turned green that “old” woman floored it. We were off like a shot – her 8 cylinder blue Chrysler leaving those hot-rodders in the dust! I cheered!  Wow!, I remember thinking, Wow.

It is still my favorite Oma story. This “old woman” was 60ish at the time.

***

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I know I was in her thoughts when she was on trips with Opa.
I still have a pile of postcards written just to me in her perfect handwriting…

And birthdays? She would bake each of her grandchildren a cake of his or her choosing. From scratch.
Her other specialties? Waffles made from Bisquick. Applesauce from scratch. Velveeta macaroni and cheese. Using the right brand was crucial.

The results were outstanding.

Upon moving to my first home, I asked for her famous macaroni and cheese recipe. She complied:

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~~~

My Oma (or Ruth, as she was known to the rest of the world), would have been 112 years old today – October 19th.
I can just imagine her rolling her eyes at the very idea of living that long.

Happy Birthday Oma!

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Distance

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This post is inspired by:

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #19: Distance

 

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Keep Your Distance

Tenth grade geometry:
A line is the shortest distance
Between 2 points.

What about that line.
How short? How long?
Too distant or not distant enough.
A fragile boundary easy to cross
When powerful
And powerless
Despite the signs.
The warnings
Balancing on the edge.

The line wavers.
Disappears.
Forgotten.
And it’s too late.
When decades later
With exhaustion
It is rediscovered
Painfully unbalanced
No points at either end.

Keep your distance.
For time in front.
Space to breathe.
Space to heal.
Space for self.

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Tuesday Photo Challenge – Reflection

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Here is my entry for this week’s challenge hosted by “Dutch goes the Photo.”

The theme this week is “Reflection”

Many years ago, on a solo visit to Coronado, California, I captured this close-up moment of reflection…as the waves rolled out over the sand…
On my favorite beach.
On a beautiful sunny day in June.
Where the uniquely colored sand just sparkles.

If I didn’t know better, I would have guessed I had struck gold.

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Coronado Beach 

A Photo a Week Challenge: Whimsical

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Nancy Merrill Photography is hosting a photo challenge:

https://nadiamerrillphotography.wordpress.com/2018/10/11/a-photo-a-week-challenge-whimsical/

The theme this week is: Whimsical – IN A NEW POST CREATED FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A WHIMSICAL PHOTO OR TWO.

In my former life as a registered dietitian I met some wonderful people who just happened to be my patients. Our common goal was improving their health through diet and lifestyle changes. Often the greatest challenge was achieving a healthy weight.

One couple – two retired public school teachers – came to see me together for several years for diet/medical issues including weight loss. With varying degrees of success. But always hopeful and motivated. One December they came in with the following gift for me. The Mrs. half of the couple – a former second grade teacher – made a set of “Before” and “After” holiday figures. She told me they represented my patients “before” they started diet counseling with me and “after” they succeeded…by following my advice.

Of course, real life did not always imitate art in this case, but I absolutely loved the sentiment.

 

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