Language

Inspired by V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #56: Language

This week, let’s think about language. Notice the places where words flow confidently and those where words falter.

~~~


You did too much

My mother admonished me after I made my way down the stairs into the living room…two days before Christmas in 1986. After I discovered blood where there shouldn’t have been any. My hand smoothing my slightly rounded belly – as if that would stop what was happening.

What I feared was happening…

As I called out from the small confines of our brand new second floor bathroom. A short distance from a third bedroom…finished a few months earlier. Space for a new family member.

My voice unheard over the cranked up stereo down below…You Better Watch Out You Better Not Cry…in anticipation of the holiday to come. My 4 year old daughter over the moon excited about Santa. And her grandparents’ visit.

You Did Too Much

Four words.

Language that jumpstarted slivers of guilt.  Mixed with grief and anger and fear.

Compounded by my doctor….who, hours later with eyes averted, added…

These Things Happen.
It’s Probably For The Best.

What did I do?…

The unanswered question wrapped around my heart…until the day almost a year later…when my beautiful healthy son was born. And I exhaled.

No words necessary.

Our family of four complete.

 

moon sliver copy

 

9 thoughts on “Language

  1. Oh my! So much expressed here – the mother’s criticism I felt as clearly as my own mother’s; the desire to make everything perfect, ignoring one’s own needs; and the cry for help, unheard over the din. And then, the loss, and the ensuing guilt. Such a heart wrenching piece, well written.

    Liked by 1 person

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