Eight Years Later…

~ oneletterup
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February 26, 2026

Greetings to my fellow bloggers!

I thought it fairly appropriate to jump back into my long neglected blog again today when I noticed that the Ragtag Daily Prompt is “Huh?”

How appropriate, as in “Huh?…has it really been 3 years since I wrote an “anniversary” post?” And 8 years since I started one letter Up? Marking “anniversaries” is one of my things and the past 2 just slipped by, not at all on the radar in my blurry, fractured state of mind.

I really don’t know where to start with what’s been happening. Everything has changed, but then…not. I do still live in the same condo, can sit at the same desk and look out the same window. But otherwise I am not the same. Does that make sense to anyone? Perhaps it would to a fellow cancer survivor. I’m in that category now.

One of my doctors told me at an appointment last month: “Now you are a 2 year bladder cancer survivor.” “Survivor” got my attention as it was a term I didn’t think I would hear until farther into the future. I have, as a result, graduated from biannual scans to annual scans to check for spread. Because that will always remain a possibility.

Of course, I do realize it could all go to hell any day and shift course, but I am coming to terms with the futility of worrying about a shadowy future. This has taken some time, as I can be a worrier – looking over my shoulder for the unexpected. Which is what happened with this diagnosis. It was a total shock as I have no risk factors, family history, blah, blah, blah. Before too long – after the biopsy revealed an aggressive mass – there were doctors up in my face pronouncing “You Will Die Of Bladder Cancer” if I didn’t consent to a radical cystectomy. I’ll tell you…fear is a powerful motivator – even for a person like me who always needs to weigh every single option over time & wait before making major decisions. I felt I had to jump in the deep end and hope for the best. So I did.

Of course it didn’t help that a few weeks after returning home from my 10 day hospital stay, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A real WTF moment. As in “Huh? are you kidding me?” That situation is “stable” at the moment.

But, anyway, here I am. My mind seems to have cleared to the point where I can string a few sentences together. And reach out to you all. I hope you are well.

These past few years have been one hell of a journey.

So many stories.

I have thought about my blogging buddies often and have read many of your posts. They have been a comfort.

Well, that’s all for now.

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Published by oneletterup

16 thoughts on “Eight Years Later…”

  1. I am very very very happy to see you here again!!!!!

    And yeah, I get it, with a far less drastic story than cancer, but some things change us just like that. Last winter I fell and cracked my femur. The random suddenness of that — the pain and the fact that I somehow dealt with it? I learned things drastically and without seeking the lessons or knowing what to do with them. I’m still learning. Now I wonder if in life we cruise along and then BAM! we’re thrown into some kind of bizarre school for a while and we’re in that school because we didn’t die — plain and simple. But…

    Again, I’m very glad to see you here!!

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    1. Thanks so much Martha. I am glad to join the WP ranks again (WP also wished me a Happy Anniversary). I dipped my toes back in today and hope to keep in touch again.
      Yes, you get it too – it feels also like a new chapter started in my life without my permission. It is only recently that life hasn’t seemed quite as surreal (bizarre is a great word).
      I am still navigating all of this and I so appreciate your kind words.
      Sorry to hear about your cracked femur! That must have been hard to deal with on your own.

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      1. Oh… Turned out I wasn’t on my own. This little town rose to the moment in ways I could never have imagined. The PO brought my mail to my door and checked on me every day. I had home health which was wonderful. My neighbors brought me a tea party and took me to the doc. I had groceries delivered, and the people who delivered them put them away for me. The hospital? I never imagined so much kindness.

        The crack wasn’t bad in a relative sense. Ironically, my hip prosthesis protected me from a full on fracture.

        I learned a huge lesson about the gift of vulnerability and what it offers others and me. The dogs were kenneled for 6 weeks — the kennel picked up a third of the bill, the rest was paid for by friends — many of whom I know here.

        It was awful and spectacularly wonderful at the same time. I can’t fully explain it. I didn’t expect any of it. It was as if the ground pulled me down one day and said, “Dammit, Martha, you need to learn this NOW!!!” It was the best worst thing that ever happened to me. ❤️ I tear up thinking about it.

        The weird part — and you might be experiencing this too — is a little PTSD from the shock of it happening at all.

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      2. Oh, Martha, what a wonderful story of love and support. Takes my breath away and I am so happy you had those amazing people helping you. So glad not to be alone. Even just feeling alone can make everything harder.
        I had a group of women friends who were amazing for me post surgery. Perhaps I will write about them.
        Yes, a little PTSD makes sense. It is just mind boggling.

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  2. Oh my gosh, hello! It’s great to see you back here! I am very happy that your medical conditions are stable for now and hope that they remain so or get much better. Welcome back and I hope to see you again soon. 👍🏻❤️

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  3. You are such a precious woman. Thank you for courageously sharing where you’ve been… I’m heartened to have you back in this space! Sending you a big supportive hug 🤗.

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