cable hokey pokey

Instead of “Breaking News” (as we now call World News Tonight with David Muir, because it is always news that is always breaking), the dreaded error message appeared a few nights ago on our television…

V58 channel not authorized

Blue screen – on every channel. And cause for blood pressure to rise…once again. Do Not Want To Call Comcast. Or TiVo.

But, as the kids say, this isn’t my first rodeo.

Step One: Breathe

Step Two: Turn off TV and turn back on. (this usually fixes everything electronic as if it reminds the device what it’s supposed to do)

(if Step Two doesn’t fix it – which it didn’t, you need Step Three)

Step Three: Find file marked TiVo and retrieve ongoing scribbled log dated back to 2012. Also find file marked Comcast, which is much thicker, but only goes back to 2015 due to downsizing.

Step Four: Review notes from TiVo and Comcast files –

TiVo file (9/2014): error V53 blank screen – called and spoke to Zach. Solution – unplug power, unplug internet. Wait (how long is not noted)…plug in power, turn on TiVo & let it dance around and load itself (those of you with TiVo will know what I am referring to). THEN plug in internet. Go to settings, connect to internet…and….do it all again. The hokey pokey! Success.

TiVo file (9/2015): error V53 blank screen  – did NOT call this time (sorry Zach), but followed Zach’s method of plugging and unplugging and dancing around….but now(!) connect to internet is called connect to TiVo service. Success!

TiVo file (10/2017): error V52 no signal above channel 840. – tried procedures from 2014 and 2015…no luck. Restarted box again. Nope.

But wait!! Cross reference to the Comcast file log from 2015*…

*Comcast file (2015): phone call with Kevin. If “it” (cable screw-ups) keeps happening, he told me “unplug the coaxial cable from the modem, touch the needle with your finger & blow on it to reduce the static and plug it back in.” He assured me he “heard that from someone.”

Say what?????

Back to TiVo file of 10/2017…

So I “unplugged coaxial cable from TiVo box – blew on it (yes, blew on it), tapped it with my finger…waited a minute…re-connected…all fixed.”

********

So now it’s May 2018 and, after careful study of my intricate cable repair history, I skipped Zach and went right to Kevin. Do not have time for the hokey pokey. The hokey pokey would result in missing the first half of breaking news.

Deep cleansing breaths.

And then… I unplugged – actually unscrewed – the coaxial cable from the TiVo box – blew on it, tapped it, re-screwed/plugged it in and…

Presto!! Like magic (without even having to tap my heels together 3 times) there’s the news breaking before the first commercial for the latest arthritis drug.

It is time for another entry into my Comcast and TiVo logs of nonsense.

May, 2018: error V58 channel not authorized. Kevin, you will always be my hero ♥!