
stories, photographs, adventures…the next chapter

How hard it is to escape from places! However carefully one goes, they hold you — you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences, little rags and shreds of your very life.
Katherine Mansfield

~~~
And so it goes.
The places that define you.
House you. Comfort you.
Where you play. Where you learn.
Where you work. Where you love.
Climb. Fall. Get up. Explore.
Write.
Ones that remain
Ones you enjoy
All add up.
To the next.
One year ago today I published my first post on this blog.
I had recently moved to a new home. For the first time, I had a small room of my own. Complete with windows to let the sun shine in.
A new place to write. Reflect. Remember. Read. Share. Plan. Challenge.
And the best part?
…meeting other writers across the world in blogging land.

Cee’s Challenge topic this week is Texture
Some textures just say Crunch. As well as Deliciousness.
As they did amid the whooping and hollering and cheering during the Super Bowl game a few weeks ago. With friends. In front of the television. Wearing the appropriate team gear.
Such textures were necessary stress relievers during this momentous game watching experience.



This post inspired by V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #35: Balance
I could never watch circus performers walk the tightrope. Always covering my eyes and waiting for the clapping before peeking out. Never mind those daredevils who travel between 2 buildings balanced on a wire.
Olympic ice skating competitions? I’ll watch after it’s over…but only if I find out ahead of time that the skater stays upright.
Gymnastics and the balance beam: I hold my breath until the routine is over.
There is something about balance…and losing it…that terrifies me. More than it used to. Perhaps it is risk of injury or death. Or perhaps it’s just faith and confidence and control…or lack thereof. Maybe it’s all those hours the skaters, gymnasts and tightrope walkers put into a 10 minute routine…all for nothing if they fall.
As a child I was a risk taker, riding my bike down steep hills – feet off the pedals and hands up in the air. As a 26 year old new home owner, I’d walk on the asphalt roof to check for loose shingles. No problem. But then again, I was young and healthy.
Times have changed.
Balance in life choices? Not so clear cut. Closing my eyes and looking away…not an option.
As a young feminist coming of age during the dawning of Ms. magazine, Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, I was bombarded with what felt like wrenching decisions about balancing life choices. Decisions laced with judgment…from the media, my parents, my friends.
Career or Motherhood?
Career and Motherhood?
How much career and how much motherhood.
Then there was marriage – or just living together – in the mix as well. And who or what deserved most of my time? And energy.
Life as a balance sheet started to emerge…
A seesaw perfectly aligned: 50/50 career and kids?
A seesaw off kilter…40/60 when kids are young…or is it 70/30?
Or heaven forbid, choose one over the other.
And what about a partner?
Or just you.
Where do you cut?
Without guilt…
The balancing act – even the thought of it – knots up the stomach.
So you “balance” the marriage, the career, the kids. The time for you with what’s left.
The best you can.
Trying to ignore the buzz of disapproval in dark corners.
Then the kids grow up. Start their own balancing acts.
Probably aiming to do it better. As they should.
And off they go. As they should.
The seesaw lowers a bit. Stability uncertain.
Career winds down
Screeches to a halt.
As you shift in the seat…
…the seesaw slams to the ground.
Ouch.
Glance up…look around…
Ah…the marriage is still there. Good thing.
But…
Your back is killing you. Your feet hurt.
So insanely tired.
Your immune system starts complaining…
An unwelcome surprise
Upsetting the balance.
Once again.
Balance may be an illusion
Shifting day to day.
Hour to hour. Minute to minute.
Now going forward
Covering my eyes
Hoping
That someone will be there to catch me
When I fall…
Perhaps the best balancing act of all.

Irene Waters’ “Times Past” prompt challenge topic for February is: Tales of Terror
Can you remember any tales of fear that your parents used to stop you going out of bounds. Please join in giving your location at the time of your memory and your generation.
~~~

As a baby boomer growing up in the USA suburbs, I basically roamed the tree lined streets of my working class neighborhood. On foot. On my bike. On my skateboard. On roller skates. I specifically remember the house I lived in from the age of 4 to 11. There were woods to explore at one end of the street before it curved uphill to circle around to the next block. Houses lined up close together and near to the street.
My mother issued two clear directives to keep me safe:
Don’t take candy from strangers.
This was in the context of a stranger driving around the block, who might stop, open the door and try to lure me into his car with a Nestle’s Crunch. I would then never be seen again. And terrible things would happen…which were never spelled out in any detail, but an implied tale of terror just the same.
I will admit I considered possibly grabbing the candy and making a run for it. However the opportunity never presented itself.
Being the immortal child that I was, I was unafraid to ride my bike for hours at a time…for long distances that perhaps would have been prohibited if I had advertised my adventures. Which I didn’t.
A favorite trip: to “the little store” on the other side of town…saved my allowance and bought my own candy. Smarties, Mary Janes, Mounds, tiny wax bottles (remember those? argh), button candy, Bazooka Bubble Gum. No strangers needed. Sometimes I let my younger sister tag along, swearing her to secrecy.
Interesting side note: when we first moved there, my sister was 3 years old. One day she packed a lunchbox with napkins, hopped on her tricycle and took off…without telling anyone. Her destination: where we used to live…a long car ride away. A dozen houses later – almost a quarter mile – she arrived at the far end of our road, about to pedal down the cross street. A dangerous intersection at the crest of a hill. The neighbor on the corner stopped her in time and called the police.
So my sister got a ride in a police car…which is where she was eventually spotted by my frantic mother. Who had grabbed me and my infant brother and probably went looking for strangers with candy. An actual tale of terror thankfully averted.
Don’t go near Tony M.
Tony was a mentally challenged teenager who lived a couple of blocks away. At least I think he was a teenager…to my young eyes he could have been in his twenties. He lived with his parents and sometimes wandered around looking somewhat disheveled. It was never explained to me what he might do. Or say. But the look in my mother’s eyes spoke fear. My questions about why went unanswered. I rarely saw him, but when I did he mostly looked lonely and sad. I wonder what happened to him.

I think that one’s art is a growth inside one. I do not think one can explain growth. It is silent and subtle. One does not keep digging up a plant to see how it grows.
Emily Carr

This post inspired by this week’s challenge hosted by Frank at Dutch goes the Photo
The prompt: Growth

I have a certain way of being in the world, and I shall not, I shall not be moved from doing what I think is right by jealousy, ignorance, or hate.
Maya Angelou
When recently asked about “the haters” by an 8 year old boy, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady responded with a smile.
…the haters? We love ’em! We love ’em back!
Because we don’t hate back.
Just about knocked me off my feet getting dressed one morning last week. While watching Good Morning America’s “kid correspondent” interview football players at the pre-Super Bowl media events.
No matter what you think of TB12 or the Patriots or even football, that answer shines a bright light. What a concept: Love them back.
Perhaps easy for someone like Brady, who is privileged and insulated from those aforementioned haters. Who troll on his Instagram feed and who knows what else.
However…
What a concept for a child to hear from a public persona. A role model even.
And…dare I say…for adults to hear as well.
ADULTS.
Who, it seems, in the last couple of years have grouped themselves into political camps of haters…on one side or the other. Who is in charge in the USA. And who isn’t.
Notice I don’t say haters and non-haters. There is too little visible love on either side. There is just hate, distrust and fear for the “other.” Whether it be the other political party, the other politician, the Other who looks nothing like you or sounds nothing like you. Or doesn’t think like you.
In many cases, this fear slips out…crossing that invisible line…morphing into hurtful anger directed at those you profess to love. Your partner. Your parent. Your sister. Your brother. Your best friend. Your child. Because they disagree with what you hate. Or don’t hate.
How could he believe that?
How could she vote for him?
How could he vote for her?
I just can’t visit them anymore.
Is it fear…or ignorance…
Or perhaps inescapable helplessness.
Doors slamming
As reality tilts and shifts.
Right becoming righteous
When grounded in hate…
Blindly insisting on one way.
Shades of gray disappearing…
Crowding out space for understanding why…
And where do we go from here.
In the end
Reaching for what
is right…
begins with
tolerance
respect…
for our shared humanity.
With empathy…
somehow…
someday…
hopefully
we will
inch
closer
to
loving the haters.
At least it’s a start.

This post inspired by V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #34: Reaching
and An Upside Down World
This post inspired by V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #33: Upside-Down

right side up…
everything
in its place.
comforting clarity…
safety wrapped around
believing.
blind trust.
knowing what’s to come
until sucker punched…
tilting.
lights dimming
without a map…
spinning…
belonging
nowhere.
losing balance…
tumbling alone.
crashing
into
a
blank slate…
the new reality.
upside-down
learning to focus
all over again.

Cee’s Challenge topic this week is Rainbow Colors (must have 4 colors)
My husband’s cousin – and our very good friend – made this stained glass hanging for us a few years ago. We found a perfect spot in our new home over the door to the very tiny porch.
This time of year, we are extra grateful for this burst of color…made even brighter in the afternoon sun.

I write because I want more than one life; I insist on a wider selection. It’s greed plain and simple. When my characters join the circus, I’m joining the circus. Although I’m happily married, I spent a great deal of time mentally living with incompatible husbands.
Anne Tyler
