Author: oneletterup

slides

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The bright color caught my eye. The trademark yellow-with-red-lettering Kodachrome logo. Empty boxes that once held carousels of slides. I didn’t notice any slides or carousels; obviously not recyclable. The boxes had tumbled out of a recycling container that I passed on a recent walk. Put to the curb. Recycling day.  But I wondered about their contents. What happened to the slides? Did they get scanned? Printed? Or handed down to the next generation (I wondered hopefully…). I recognized those boxes and that logo because that was me a few years ago. My late grandfather photographed with slide film. He took pictures everywhere: on fishing trips, hunting trips, trips to Europe, Asia and around the USA. He also photographed his family, especially his grandchildren when they were young. Anyone who is still familiar with slides knows the quality is superior to film. To view 50-plus year old slide images is to step back in time.

My grandfather, who we called Opa, loved his grandchildren and loved to take slides, polaroids and 8mm home movies of us. I remember the bright pop of the flashbulb, which he licked before inserting in the flash unit of his camera. Usually while balancing a cigarette in one hand or while it hung from the corner of his mouth. (Throughout my childhood, I always held my breath waiting for the cigarette to fall out and set him or the house on fire. Fortunately it never did). Now I have those slides.

slide sorter

He also took hundreds of photos on his many trips with my grandmother Oma. A few years ago I went through the large box of slide boxes and “magazines” (for slide projectors pre-carousel) that had been handed down to me. Opa had sorted them but only labeled sporadically. Venice – Paris – Zurich – Florence – Pompeii – Naples – Rome – Switzerland – Madrid – India – Germany – ???                                               IMG_2759 copy

I looked at every slide, curious and fascinated by the people and places he framed and preserved. I estimate the time frame to be in the 1940’s – 1960’s. I wonder if he ever loaded the magazines into a slide projector, sat back and watched the images one by one.  I sure hope so.

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…a few samples of his work…

 

 

downsizing and stuff – part 3 – Craig’s List

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SCHWINN Girl’s Bike – 18″ – $50

Lavender and white classic “coaster brake” style bicycle in excellent condition, few scuff marks. This is a Schwinn high quality bike, 18″ with adjustable seat and handlebars.

One July morning, I received an email:

I am interested in this bike and would like to check it out. I live in (town) so contact me if it is still available and when a good time would be.

The next day, a white box truck decorated with images of fruits and vegetables arrived and parked at the end of my driveway. It was from a local produce company which advertises “locally sourced produce…from farm to table!”
The driver – the man who sent the email – walked up towards me where I was waiting with the purple bike. We had saved it hanging on the garage wall for many years. To look at it was to remember our blonde 5 year old bound and determined to ride a big-girl bike all by herself. And she did.

I showed the man the original handbook I had saved. He looked the bike over, pleased it was in such good shape. He wanted to buy a “high quality brand,” even if used, rather than a cheap Walmart bike. He was planning to surprise his 6 year old daughter named Daisy. It would be her first big-girl bike too. I knew it was meant to be as I watched him wheel it down the driveway to the truck. I had to smile…my grown up daughter belongs to a CSA and is bound and determined to buy local whenever possible.

 ***

REDLINE 340 Boy’s Bike – $60

Dark Blue 20″ REDLINE 340 “Motocross” bicycle in EXCELLENT CONDITION. Includes water bottle holder, adjustable seat and handlebars.

One July morning, 2 weeks later, I received this email:

I am very interested in this bike. I am a BMX collector. Not the type that “flips” bikes for money. I love older BMX bikes from the 80’s and 90’s and like to restore or refurbish them. However I prefer to have “survivors” like this. I feel your price is fair and would like to buy it from you but my wife has informed me that my bike fund is depleted right now. The soonest I’d have money to buy this would be next Monday or Tuesday. I understand money talks and BS walks but if you’ve still got it by next week I’d like to arrange something with you.
Thanks for your time.

I emailed him that it was still available and he got right back to me.

That is GREAT!
I get paid again on Monday afternoon and will be ready with cash in hand as soon as Monday night. I would love to have this all original survivor BMX in my collection. I love collecting and riding BMX bikes, I’ve included a picture of a few of the bikes in my collection. All the ones that are just frame and fork are ones that are currently being restored by me. The one that stands alone is my own personal survivor bike from when I was a kid, I bought it new and have held onto it ever since.
Not that most people selling a bike care about where it goes but I just wanted to let you know that if you decide to sell your bike to me it will be going to a good home. (Lol)

Three days later I emailed him that the bike was still available.

His response:

Thanks! I’ve been into BMX since I was a young boy. I’ve gotten really into collecting and restoring over the last five or so years. It’s cheaper than collecting and restoring old cars! Lol. I’ll have the money tomorrow but won’t realistically be able to get out to (you) until probably Tuesday or Wednesday if that’s ok with you.
Feel free to call or text me with any questions
Thanks again, George.

George, my favorite and most enthusiastic buyer ever – probably in his 40’s – lived 1-1/2 hours away and arrived with his pickup truck one hot July day. He told me the story of his BMX bicycle collection, adding more details to the email descriptions. After very carefully inspecting the bike and pronouncing it “a score,” he paid the asking price. I noticed a woman – probably his wife – sitting in the passenger seat, rolling her eyes, with a profound look of resignation on her face. George later emailed me and included photos of my son’s bike all cleaned up and shiny; looking almost like new.

I just wanted to send you a quick message to say thanks again for the Redline BMX bike you sold me. I have been working on it and getting it cleaned up. I was able to finally get it out for a ride the other night and I gotta tell you this bike rides awesome. It has now become my new favorite bike to ride!
Thanks again, George

Before George bought it,  it had hung in a special place on the garage wall next to his sister’s. Our son was also an avid collector…of bottle caps, sports cards, pennies….  Selling his bike to such a dedicated collector also seemed meant to be.

 ***

Wurlitzer Piano – $200

Wurlitzer spinnet style piano and bench. Manufactured in 1967.
Very good playing condition with some minor wood finish discoloration on top.

One morning in early June, I received this email:

May I look at the piano tomorrow on Sunday? I live in (town), so it will be a fast trip. I want to teach my three year old son how to play and this will fit into the house. Please call…

A young man from a few miles away arrived that sunny Sunday to check out our piano. It had been handed down to us from my mother-in-law, who took lessons on it in her 70’s.  He wanted a “real piano” and not an electric keyboard for his 3 year old son to learn on. The water stains on the top did not concern him.  The bench came with the music books – even ones I had learned on including Teaching Little Fingers To Play with the red cover. He handed me $200 in cash to hold it until the following weekend. I insisted on giving him a receipt. He did come back with a friend the next weekend as promised.  I wonder how that (now 6 year old) little boy likes his piano.

***

Vintage Hutch Credenza – $25

condition: fair
Solid wood credenza with 2 doors and 2 drawers (one with felt areas for silverware).
This is a very old piece of furniture that is structurally very good.
It is very scratched, but could be easily painted.
Dimensions:
60″ W
20″ D
27″ H

This would be the final Craig’s List sale…
Three days before we closed on the sale of our house, the Salvation Army truck arrived to collect the leftover giveaway stuff which filled the 2 car garage. The one thing they would not take was this credenza because it was too scratched. Originally belonging to my husband’s grandmother, it was handed down to us and then used for storage.
Within an hour of posting this, a young man emailed me. Two days later he bought it and narrowly missed popping a hernia getting it into his car.
On to its next home. A narrow escape from the dumpster.

***

Downsizing from a 3 bedroom house with a full basement, garage and attic takes time. Lots of time. Well, it does if you want to save the earth and not add your unwanted stuff to the local landfill.

Many friends have asked  – how did you do it?

One major player? Craig’s List.

My friend Chris gave me very good advice about using Craig’s List…
Don’t be surprised if the person never shows up to buy your stuff.                           Always get the cash before handing over what you are selling.

Here’s what I learned:

  • Timing is everything
    If you want to sell 22 year old working, but noisy, window air conditioners, post them on a humid 95 degree summer day. Boom! Gone in hours. As I recall a buyer wanted one to keep her cat cool when she was away. I hope the cat didn’t go deaf.
  • Use positive descriptions such as Vintage, Classic, Antique.
  • Avoid old unless it’s absolutely necessary (see “credenza” above)
  • Include the Owner’s Manual if you can find it.
  • Look up any serial numbers for describing old (i.e.: vintage) items.
  • Search eBay for pricing ideas
  • Measure anything that you can measure.
  • Take photos in natural light, outdoors if possible.
  • Dust/clean old (i.e.: vintage) furniture. Make simple repairs such as tightening screws or replacing a hinge. It can make the difference.
  • Set up a time during the day for buyers to look at your items – preferably outside or in a detached garage.
  • Never assume there isn’t a buyer for something you want to sell. You have no idea how many times I heard….Nobody will buy that!  – and then someone did (well most of the time)

A few success stories:

Classic writing desk, vintage bureau, vintage shelf, vintage Silver Streak sled, vintage Yankee Clipper sled, LP Record Cabinet.

What never sold:

Cassette tape storage racks, video cassette player, Mad Men – Season 3, very large vintage speakers that still worked (and why couldn’t someone see how great they still were?).

And, last but not least, when you use Craig’s List to off load your stuff, you may meet some really cool people in the process!

[NOTE TO SELF & READERS: definition of spam….
An earlier response to my son’s bike posting – after I emailed back to a short inquiry asking if the bike was still available…..
Thanks you for the response according to the description,am okay with
the price and the condition pasted on cl. I am ready to make instant
purchase.My mode of payment would be in CERTIFIED CHECK and i will
arrange for a local pick up as soon as you get the check, because that
is the only inconvenient means for me and due to my work frame i can
not be able to get there and i promise everything will go smoothly.I
really wish to be there to check out the item but i don’t have chance
cause am very busy person (US MARINE). Concerning the pick up, i will
arrange for it after you receive the payment and it clears… Pls get
back to me with below info so that i can proceed with the payment
immediately if you are selling to me.
Full Name:
Address: Not P.O.BOX
City:
State:Postal Code:
Total amount for the item
Phone Number: That i can send text
And as soon as this is provided, the payment will be overnight to you
and i will let you know when its mailed out. Thanks and i hope we
handle this in good faith while waiting to hear from you. i will add
an additional $50 so that you can hold it for me till the check reach
you. Best Regards]

downsizing and stuff – part 2 – photos

~ oneletterup ~ 2 Comments

It shouldn’t be surprising, but too much stuff can still survive the process of downsizing. Despite the carloads and truckloads and endless Craig’s List posts and sales, too much stuff snuck into our new – smaller – home.

I wonder…so what? I found room for it – piled in closets and the 2 tiny storage units that we own. And there it stays…possibly mocking me.

Hundreds of photographs, negatives (remember negatives?) and slides (remember slides?) neatly organized by month and year in those fancy decorated shoe boxes you get at Michaels on sale for $2. Who will ever want them? Will they all end up in the nearest dumpster someday?

Photos are now mostly digital…poof! no boxes. No spaces to fill up. You can fit thousands on one of those little flash drives that fit in your pocket.  But nothing to hold in your hand….in their hands. Pieces of photo paper – glossy or pearl finish, with borders or without. Images of history.  Flip them over and if you’re lucky you’ll find  dates, names, places. The older ones may be faded or yellowed. Well loved ones may be creased or lightened from the sun where they were tacked to a bulletin board or hung near a sunny window.

Remember this? When we went to watch sunsets at Sunset Beach? Remember when she was learning to eat with a spoon? Remember when he shot a 3 & pretended to be on the Dream Team? When Opa and I played Pinochle for hours? Look at us sitting there, both of us with cigarettes alight. Memory triggers….

They all tell stories if you look close enough. I think that’s what fascinates me the most. Body language. All lined up sitting on the couch but not touching. Or with arms entwined. That smile, that frown, that wink, that grimace. Who is there and who isn’t. It all tells a story. Some happy. Some not so happy. Some painful. It is all important. To someone. I am the keeper of all that.

And there are the photographs from a hundred years ago – long departed relatives and friends posing for photos only taken a few times in a year. Most are carefully posed with older women and men standing stiffly in a back row behind the younger women or children. Or, as in the case of my grandfather’s family; his father and uncle standing with arms crossed, others grinning, others not. Three generations together. What was the reason for the photo – bow ties and all? A turn of the century family story.

1915
circa 1915

 

This still doesn’t solve my problem. All those photos in the Michael’s boxes. And the rest in file size storage bins – including the aforementioned old photos plus polaroids and instamatic prints. Then there are school pictures of….everybody. I can’t imagine that my adult children will ever want the full extra set of their toothy grin fifth grade photos. Plus the bookshelf stuffed with 40 years of photo albums.

A new friend said to me recently – do you want to leave behind a gift or a burden? Not that I am planning to get to the “leaving behind” stage of life for a while.

So what to do? I still have no idea.

BUT…..It’s so much less than before.

I insist

(to myself)

almost Easter

~ oneletterup ~ 4 Comments
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1966

It’s almost Easter.

When I was little, the Easter Bunny always left baskets for me (plus my sisters and brothers) to find. We each got a couple (or 4) straw baskets complete with the requisite Easter “grass” which ended up in the rug…everywhere. Inside we’d find foil covered chocolate eggs, a chocolate bunny and those marshmallow peeps – which were just as bright neon colored then as they are now. And jelly beans! And sometimes a stuffed animal – usually a bunny. And other stuff apparently… like educational books…

My younger sister and I often had matching dresses (ugh) and we each usually had an Easter hat. I actually got a kick out of the hat – I remember one had small red fake flowers around the brim. Patent leather shoes completed the look. It worked for my sister much more than me, as I’d just as soon run around the backyard and scoot up the jungle gym, Easter finery and all.

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TV dinner containers…recycling in the ’60’s

A few days before Easter we dyed hardboiled eggs different colors using the wire holders, still stained, from previous years. The kitchen table was covered in newspapers to limit the mess we’d make. The kitchen smelled of vinegar as we poured it into different cups of water. When I was older I was allowed to drop a different color pellet into each one and watch it dissolve.  Sometimes we used wax crayons to draw designs on the eggs first. We were each allowed about 6 eggs to decorate. They were then stored in the frig for the “bunny” to get for our baskets. Or so went the story.

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1965

Sometimes we made it to church. Sometimes we didn’t.  We belonged to a protestant church and went on a fairly regular basis if my parents didn’t sleep too late. It wasn’t my favorite childhood activity. We tried to be very quiet on Sunday mornings (ssshhhh stop talking so loud! Turn down RoadRunner!).

The best part of Easter, in my memory, are the years when my grandparents came for the day (or sometimes the night before and slept over); usually to take us all out to eat. And play cards! And eat the black jelly beans we didn’t want. Going out to eat was one of their most favorite things to do – and bringing the grandkids didn’t faze them one bit.

In grammar school we usually had an Easter party the week before Easter. Apparently it sometimes included student entertainment….

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1964

There was no school the week following Easter….for years referred to as “Easter Vacation” – and it included everyone; whether or not you celebrated the holiday. Nowadays it is just called Spring Break; a much more appropriate and inclusive label.

As I got older the Easter traditions became less defined. We drifted away from the matching dresses Thank Goodness (said I, the older sister) and the coloring of eggs. There was usually a stuffed animal – I got one in a care package my freshman year of college.

It was all useful, however, in knowing what to do when I had my own children many years later. Coloring eggs? check! Easter baskets? check! Easter grass (still getting stuck in the rug)? check! Chocolate bunny and eggs? check! I changed it up a bit with some little decorations and wind up silly toys. Hiding places were always a challenge – back of a closet or in the bathtub were usually dependable until they got old enough to remember from year to year. In the 1980’s there was such a thing as “Me and the Easter Bunny” photos at the mall – did that too; although that huge bunny was kind of bizarre looking.

Set the alarm for Easter morning? check! We usually went to church – one of my favorite services. My daughter dressed up and once wore one of my childhood hats. My son in a little jacket and tie. (at least I didn’t have to decide about matching dresses!) Easter dinner was at home or at my in-laws’ house – our children’s local grandparents. Traditional style – deviled eggs, ham, escalloped potatoes, etc.

One thing that didn’t survive down to their generation: Peeps. Nobody liked them.

One last thing: Easter is the subject of my most treasured book from childhood. It has the sweetest illustrations and story. It made the cut when we downsized – and I also made sure I knew where it was stored. The paper jacket has long since disappeared and the binding is loose and fragile. But precious all the same……

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not-real TV

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1967

 

When I turned on the TV one recent morning to catch the local news and weather, I heard a vaguely familiar young voice say something like “blah blah blah Uncle Charlie blah blah blah…”  That woke me all the way up. I found my glasses – it was Chip (or maybe Ernie)! Then in stumbled Uncle Charlie (on the screen, not in my bedroom) complete with the apron. It was “My Three Sons.” Oh my.

Apparently someone came up with the idea to rerun those TV “classics” from my childhood. It is a cable station called “MeTV” (an acronym for “Memorable Entertainment Television”) and advertises incessantly on its sister station – a legit ABC local network affiliate. MeTV also broadcasts local news at 10pm – for those of us who can’t stay awake until the typical 11pm news on the “real station.” Now that I think of it, us 10pm news watchers are probably the same ones who watched “My Three Sons” as kids.

Flipping though my diary archives yields a treasure trove of MeTV possibilities; although I’m not sure I’d want to watch them now.

A random sampling:

  • My Favorite Martian
  • Addams Family
  • Gomer Pyle (or as my brother affectionately referred to it – Gomer’s Pyle)
  • Flipper (faster than lightning)
  • Kentucky Jones
  • Gilligan’s Island (it was years before I realized the s in island was silent)
  • Walt Disney (on right before Ed Sullivan)
  • Ed Sullivan (on right before Bonanza)
  • Bonanza (if I was lucky & mom didn’t realize I was still up this late on a school night)
  • Johnny Quest
  • Donna Reed
  • My Three Sons (!)
  • Bewitched
  • The Farmer’s Daughter
  • Andy Griffith
  • The Lucy Show

This was just 2 weeks worth of shows in one year…..a tiny sampling.

My TV listings were often more detailed than homework descriptions. There are comments such as “I watched Bewitched. I like that program very much.” Well, I imagine I did. Here was a woman who could do whatever she wanted just by twitching her nose. The first woman on TV with superpowers. How fantastic was that?

Or “We watched Addams Family & Gomer Pyle on TV while we ate dinner. Gomer Pyle is FUNNY.” Hmmm….why was he funny?  And “I watched a new show called Lost in Space which is about a family with kids & is floating around in a spaceship & is Lost in Space.” That about covers it.

Binge watching one night in the 1960’s: “Camp Runamuck, Hank, Hogan’s Heroes, Gomer Pyle, Smothers Brothers, UNCLE – Waverly Ring Affair.”  (Camp Runamuck?? Hank??) I also would rather not think about the subject matter of “Hogan’s Heroes” being an actual comedy. It is, however, on MeTV.

I watched quite a bit of television as a child.  I also read Nancy Drew books and played outside when I had free time, but I think I loved television the best. I could escape and imagine something different; it became a lifeline of sorts. Those perfect family sitcoms with an Uncle Charlie or an Aunt Bee. Or the nose that twitched and made things happen. The brothers that got along in “My Three Sons” & “Leave it to Beaver.”  The cousins in the “Patty Duke Show” – they got along too.

Pure entertainment drew me in – especially “Variety shows.” One unforgettable one: “The Ed Sullivan Show”…The Beatles! The Rolling Stones! The guy who balanced the spinning plates and of course Topo Gigio!! The June Taylor dancers on “The Jackie Gleason Show” – filmed from above to see the kaleidoscopic patterns they would make. I first fell in love with Lily Tomlin’s humor on “Laugh-In.” All this from just 3 networks!

I took great comfort in knowing that:

  • Lassie would always locate Timmy and find the well – every single time
  • Gidget would always be cute and get a date
  • Mighty Mouse would always save the day
  • Superman would always fly fast and get the bad guy
  • If Opie, Chip, Ernie, Beaver, Wally, Cathy, Patty, et al. misbehaved, their punishments would – at the most – be a “stern talking to.” Their worries, if they had any, were whisked away by episode’s end.

I spent those hours entertained…but also worry free, knowing that it would all work out – whatever “it” was. Was any of it realistic? Of course not. Did it matter to me then? If someone had pointed out that there was no such thing as a flying mouse (obviously not) or a flying man (again, nope) or that girls don’t need to be cute and have boyfriends (would find that out eventually), it would have made no difference. Reality wasn’t the point. And I am grateful.

I do wonder who watches MeTV and why. I admit that I didn’t watch any of “My Three Sons” the other day when I discovered it coming to life on my TV by accident. There was a “Leave it to Beaver” moment one morning as well, when I was expecting GMA.

Are today’s sitcoms “better” than they were in the 1960’s? I don’t know; but I wonder if they give kids the easy escape they may be needing. I hope so. Those slices of not-real life helped me get through childhood. Today’s kids may need something different or maybe there is still a need for not-real TV. Reality for today’s children seems as if it could be a difficult burden.

I know, I know, the sitcoms of the ’60’s were unrealistic and perpetuated many stereotypes and inappropriate role models.  I agree. But still. Sometimes it can be more important to give a worried child’s mind a rest, at least for a short while. That has value.

After all, I knew very well that mothers did not always (or ever) wear an apron, heels and pearls to cook dinner. And of course there could very well be a Superwoman. And that families (of many colors) really did have problems – sometimes serious ones. And that war is hell; not funny.

I should change the channel back to the “regular” channel after the 10pm news from now on. No need to accidentally see Jeannie in the turban rising out of the bottle first thing in the morning. Although….”Bewitched” could work…and might be an easier way to greet the day than what happened overnight in real-life land.

 

 

 

smoking

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I hadn’t thought about it in a long time. I smoked cigarettes for about 10 years, starting when I was 17. I stopped at 27 when I discovered I was pregnant with my first child. I wasn’t a heavy smoker by any standards – a half pack per day more or less. But it was part of my life and my routine. I started smoking on purpose. My friend Wendy and I bought a pack together convincing the salesperson we were old enough to buy it.

I snuck down alone into the basement of my home and hid behind the mountains of boxes and debris….trying to quickly smoke one cigarette before anyone else came down and discovered me. Inhaling deeply over and over until I felt the nicotine calm me. It was the moment I discovered the cause and affect of cigarette smoking – there crouched under the bare light bulb. My parents think I picked up smoking to be “cool” but that was never it. My friends didn’t smoke and I was never cool. It was purely for the way it made me feel. I had no idea how addicting it would become. All I knew is it helped me cope. Lung cancer didn’t enter my mind. I was 17. I would live forever, right?

It came to mind recently when I met someone about my age who recently went to “smoker’s prison” as he called it. I didn’t ask specifics, but I assume it was a rehab place for smokers to help manage withdrawal symptoms. I also assume he had smoked for decades longer than I had. I asked him if he felt better. “NO” he answered, he did not feel better. Now he was hooked on nicotine gum. “It is so hard to quit” I said. “I remember.” It is not just the nicotine withdrawal. It is the reaching for a cigarette with your morning coffee, with a drink, starting the car. I had a cigarette going whenever I began writing papers in college. To relax at the end of the day…after a meal. “Do you still want a cigarette?” he asked me. No, not now – it’s been over 30 years.

I hope he feels better soon; that his body adjusts. I wonder if the younger people who work for him understand the scope of what he is trying to do. If they have never smoked, it is doubtful. Such a hard road to take by yourself.

I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t quit. Would my daughter have been born underweight? Would she have died of SIDS? I had read that’s what could happen to babies of mothers who smoke during pregnancy. That is why I sat in my orange Plymouth in a deserted section of the grocery store parking lot one afternoon and smoked my last cigarettes. I decided then and there to stop. I had just found out I was pregnant. I don’t know if that fear was fully justified, but just knowing it was a theory was enough.

For years after she was born I used to dream about smoking – sometimes waking up trying to inhale a cigarette.

Having children can be a powerful motivator.

 

and the winner is…

~ oneletterup ~ Leave a comment

What can I say? I love the Academy Awards! It’s my most fun day all year – no presents to buy and wrap, no cards to mail, no work at all…except to print my ballot as soon as the nominations are announced. And then the rush to see as many nominated movies as possible before the show.  Or at least the movies with Best Actress and Actor nominations. As a child and young teenager, I rarely saw the movies that were showcased, but my fascination with the glamour and….mysteriousness of it all drew me in. They were all so larger than life – those movie people – and they always looked so happy. I loved them as much as the characters they played. Julie Andrews was every bit as lovable as Mary Poppins and then again as Maria, everyone’s favorite governess in The Sound of Music. Oh how I wished she loved me too. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it.

The Oscars are a chance to play pretend at any age. All those people  dressed up for a crazy big party and you can go too. No matter how exclusive it obviously is, anyone with a television (or, nowadays, a computer) can watch what happens in real time. Live TV at its best. Who knew there would be a streaker? Or a mixup with the ballot? Everyone in their fanciest – and often most outlandish – clothes and it’s okay. I can just relax on the couch dressed however I want; bowl of popcorn in my lap with clipboard, ballot and pen nearby.

Should the acting profession – represented at the Academy Awards – be more race and gender diverse? Inclusive? Well, of course. I am hopeful and confident they are heading in that direction. In the meantime I am going to enjoy playing pretend at their party in quiet gratitude — for all the hours I’ve spent mesmerized, entertained, comforted and often inspired by their work on the big screen.

My favorite Oscar memory? 1972:  Isaac Hayes, dressed in chainmail sitting at the piano rising up from beneath the stage floor (as I remember it) to play the Theme from SHAFT. Amidst a cloud of smoke. Wow! And he won! Can you dig it?

So many movies. So many stories.

 

 

dancing class

~ oneletterup ~ Leave a comment

Today is March 2nd.

March 2nd when I was 11?

march 2nd001
1966

I wonder if public schools still have dancing classes. Nervous 6th graders picking partners from either side of the school cafeteria, the room still smelling like yesterday’s salmon wiggle. Sweaty palms everywhere. This was straight ballroom dancing. Learn the cha-cha. Waltz. One Two Three. One Two Three.

We assembled every Wednesday night.  I loved the dancing despite wondering who I would dance with. My crush on Richard lasted a few more years despite being fed up with him that last night of class – which I imagine was because he didn’t “notice” me. I thought it was because of how I looked (my hair! my dress! my glasses! my braces!). He was taller than I was, so that couldn’t be it. I sort of could dance.  I just knew romance must be right around some nearby corner – I watched Gidget and look how much fun she had!  It wasn’t until years later raising my own son that I realized how unaware (in a sweet sort of way) 12 year old boys can be. They just have their minds on other things. And asking a 12 year old girl to dance was most likely not one of those things….

It would prevent a lot of anxiety if 12 year old girls could somehow know this.

 

downsizing and stuff – part 1 – the nest

~ oneletterup ~ 2 Comments

Many of us are:

  1. thinking about downsizing.
  2. talking about downsizing.
  3. reading articles about how to downsize.
  4. going through stuff wondering “where did this come from?” as if it had snuck in when we weren’t looking. Or better yet “why did I buy this?” and having no answer to “why did I keep 6 shovels or this roll of ‘perfectly good’ rug scrap for 30 years?” [My favorite – “I swear these hangers are reproducing overnight. I keep finding more.”]
  5. purging piles of stuff or at least trying to.

And what is stuff? Well, everything is stuff. The hardest stuff to deal with….are those once precious belongings or mementos and, yes, diaries and journals that we hold on to for….”later.” Boxes and bags gathering dust in remote corners of houses and apartments and basements and attics; the stacks increasing year by year. The packing tape yellowed, cracking & falling off. This process is often jump started when adult children move out. Really move out.

The thing is…the term “empty nest” is misleading. The nest is not empty when the kids who inhabited said nest leave all their stuff behind…crammed in the nest they flew out of. Hmmm… That is not helpful.  A good friend of mine suggested Rubbermaid storage totes. “Put all their stuff in those totes. Let them come get them.” I knew we could never downsize with buckets of toys, sports cards, dolls, stuffed animals, books, clothing, magazines, saved schoolwork, etc. The Molly doll that my daughter saved up money for? — upside down in one of those buckets, glasses askew. That didn’t seem right. She once had a seat at our Thanksgiving table. Sigh.  Well, the kids flew the nest and and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Back to stuff. The solution to getting rid of the kids’ stuff ending up being fairly simple. I offered to ship it all to them via a pod. They could put it in storage where they lived (400 miles away in a major city). Panic ensued. “We don’t have room. Wait. WAIT.” They arrived a few months later, sorted through (most of) it, pared it down and rented their own storage unit nearby – a vastly cheaper alternative. It’s been 4 years and Molly remains safe and sound and upside down a few miles away. She is surrounded by 10,000+ carefully catalogued sports cards, a dog-eared collection of Babysitter Club paperbacks, and much more. Sorry Molly.

Adult children these days (when did I get old enough to say “these days”?)….do not want their parents’ (free!) old furniture or dishes or silverware. Ew. Old brown furniture. Ew again. No sentimental attachment to the kitchen table where one made earrings out of Cheerios? Or displayed the college acceptance letters? Or spread out racks for cooling Christmas cookies? They politely decline. I am not sure what the deal is there; but it is comforting to have this ice breaker discussion with any downsized empty nester. I am not alone. Look in any Goodwill, Salvation Army or Habitat for Humanity Restore facility – it is packed with old brown furniture that baby boomers have donated. Their kids don’t want it. An antique dealer I spoke to about this phenomenon snorted “all they want is that cheap Ikea stuff.”