A More Present New Year

At the end of the day, your relationships with the people in your life will be greater assets than any material things. Take time. Be present. You’ll thank yourself for it later.
Vironika Tugaleva

 

Today is January 1st.

It’s also the time of year when resolutions are made…

A new year. A starting line for change…

The underlying message?

Who you are is just not good…enough.

Do more. Be more. Or…in some cases do less.
Stop eating so much. Stop smoking.
Save more money. Get more exercise.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Don’t get me wrong. These are all worthy causes and beneficial behavior changes. But they also pile on the guilt if…or when…you can’t push that plate of pie away. Or throw out those cigarettes. Or make it to the gym. You look in the mirror and just feel worse.

It’s also a lost opportunity to look at a bigger picture…

A resolution can be a serious committed decision. A pledge to work towards something truly worthwhile. That isn’t just skin deep. That actually lasts.

It can be a sharper focus on the people in our lives who have slipped to the back burner. The friend you haven’t spoken to in months or years. The neighbor you used to see out for walks. The distant relative who stopped sending holiday cards. The family member who stays hidden behind a wall of pain.

I believe that connections are what make us human. But they need our care and attention.

Another thought:  Texting technology has its place, but there is no substitute for the sound of a loving voice. Or the comfort of an in-person hug.

And…there is absolutely no substitute for an actual conversation complete with eye contact.

I see it all the time…a family sitting together at a restaurant. Everyone texting with eyes glued to their phones. A forever lost opportunity. It breaks my heart.

Take time.
Be present.
Pay attention.

3 chairs

There is too much to lose.

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “A More Present New Year

  1. A perfect resolution … take time, be present, pay attention … “there is too much to lose.” I couldn’t agree with you more. Especially for women, we do best when we don’t feel guilty or bad about ourselves. My resolution: keep stoking the fires of liking myself — believing I can do better re saving my health … and being satisfied with whatever little improvements I can accomplish.

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    1. Thanks. I like your resolution – it’s a much more positive and authentic perspective. The self shaming that is so often perpetuated (as you say, especially for women) is not helpful…to say the least. I like your description “saving my health” – it is hopeful and more realistic. I am going to try that on for size.

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  2. I love your take on resolutions. I agree! It breaks my heart watching so many people spending time on their phones instead of talking too. I get mad at myself when I do it too. As far as resolutions, I’m more into a short-term resolution (like, lose the 3 #’s I gained over the holidays before my doctor’s appointment in 2 weeks…!) Then back to the cookies…maybe! Happy New Year to you!!!

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    1. Thank you! I like your short term positive goals too. I really hope that people eventually realize how much they are missing when they choose screens…over the faces of those within arms’ reach.

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      1. I don’t know what it’ll take for them to do so. Actually, I kind of do…it’s taking a break by choice and realizing how much it had consumed your life. That’s eye-opening!

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