This post inspired by Fandango’s Friday Flashback – December 27
Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember?..Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year?
~~~
This post is from December 27, 2018 in response to the Ragtag Daily Prompt.
******
This post inspired by Ragtag Daily Prompt: Corpulent
Corpulent
“My doctor says I’m too heavy.”
“I feel so huge.”
“I just hate this roll of fat on my hips.”
“I’ve always been on the big side.”
“I’m just a little overweight.”
“When I was a kid, I was considered chunky.”
I was a registered dietitian for many years, providing one-to-one diet counseling at hospitals and clinics. Doctors referred patients for weight loss diets…for a variety of reasons. Blood lipids too high. Blood pressure too high. Blood sugar too high. Joints wearing away.
Or…”to be more healthy.”
As if it was that simple…
I met with a young woman who cried with the shame of being criticized by her mother growing up. Because she was overweight.
A man whose parents belittled him at the dinner table when he served himself a second helping of potatoes.
A teenage boy who needed to be weighed on the hospital wheelchair scale. Bullied at school. Dropped out. Working on his GED.
A young man whose wife would put a box of chocolates in his bureau drawer to tempt him. She was chubby too.
Countless women – of all ages – were embarrassed to be sitting across from me, as if they had committed a sin.
To be fat. Corpulent. Obese. Chunky. Chubby. Portly. Overweight. Whatever you name it…is to be branded less than. Ostracized in our first world society.
Often facing an exhausting lifetime battle with food.
How much. When. Where. Why.
Most doctors don’t realize that food is just one piece of this puzzle.
You don’t have to do this, I’d say when calling to set up an appointment…if I sensed reluctance.
But the doctor said I have to.
It is your decision no matter what the doctor says.
There would be a pause in the conversation.
Really?
Yes. It’s up to you. If you aren’t ready, we can wait.
Most of the time, the appointment was made.
The patient showed up. Often wary.
And we’d talk. About goals. Typical meals.
Eating history. Likes. Dislikes.
Sometimes there was crying. Or almost crying.
Stories of shunning. Lost opportunities. Self-hatred.
So much emotional pain.
Because a body is large…
Soothed for years
With foods that comfort.
Only to face doctor’s orders
to take those foods away.
I often asked myself…
Is it worth it?
******
one letter UP ~ diary 2.0 
I approached this post with trepidation and end it with applause because you are that rare person who takes a position similar to Health At Every Size.
I became bulimic at twelve. My thyroid burned itself out in my early teens. I had PCOS (I say “had” because I’ve gone through menopause and now my ovaries are atrophied so I don’t think it’s an issue anymore.) I struggled with yo-yo dieting, orthorexia, and trying to hate myself thin for 33 years. None of it made me thin, it just made me hate myself. I had to stop dieting so I wouldn’t gain more weight because every time I lost weight it always came back with friends. I can tell you from personal experience that it is NOT worth it.
These days I won’t let people get away with being jerks. This includes medical professionals. Think what you want about my appearance, but you are not entitled to be abusive about it.
I still struggle with my abusive life partner, ED (Eating Disorder.) People don’t believe me, but I am actually very good at restricting food. I went through a couple of days this past week where I refused to eat all day. Considering that I have diabetes, this is not a good thing.
This time of year is rough because so many people take up the rallying cry of “new you in 52,” “I’m going on Keto (or whatever diet is currently in vogue),” or other such crap that I don’t want to hear about any more than I want to hear about their bowel movements.
Thank you so much for being a voice of reason.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful comment. It is a rough road to grow up on – the one you describe. I have to agree with you – it is NOT worth it. I am so glad you have come to “these days I won’t let people get away with being jerks.” Finding your voice despite all the judgmental noise (medical professionals included!) – is quite an achievement. Battling from the age of 12 sounds horribly exhausting as well. I hope as time goes on it gets easier for you.
I also grow impatient at all the new year’s focus on diets and self “improvement” – as if assuming that the current “you” is just not good enough.
LikeLike
Oh my. You had an important job. Made life so much better for so many people.
I have almost 50 years and 110 kg and sedentary lifestyle with two dog walks a day, not very long. And Italian food… Pasta chic IS a thing. Yo-yo diets with bursts of physical activity in my past. Whenever the activity ceased, and when I stopped smoking in 2007, the weight went very much up again and now it’s at it’s highest. Menopause doesn’t help. At the physical last month the doctor was happy with my low pressure, blood and urine, and didn’t mention a dietitian. But both my feet are suffering from calcination and some days every step is painful. (Sorry for this unload. No need to comment.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Menopause doesn’t help a lot of things! Weight is in the top ten. It is a positive sign that your BP, etc. are okay. As well as stopping the smoking. Managing diet and weight is a difficult challenge – and everyone’s story is different. Thanks for your comment! (no need to apologize!)
LikeLiked by 1 person